Thursday, November 18, 2010

I Have a Friend

I have a friend who loves a woman
which may seem strange to some because
my friend is also a woman
but to me it only seems beautiful
it seems right
Because the woman she loves  loves her too
My friend has never said to me,
"I love this woman."
and they've never said,
"I love you."
in front of me          but I know
It's plain to see when they're together
that something bigger than the both of them
exists between these two
I can't help but feel warm, hopeful when I see that
It makes me want to dance.

because I see so many women who
don't really love the men they love
I'm not sure they even like them, actually
I do see men and women in love - happy couples are out there
They're just few and endangered    and I'm not sure what by
It's not deforestation or pollution that makes them scarce
It think, perhaps, it's the pace at which we push our lives
marriage is something that just happens
   -after college
   -after high-school
   -hopefully before kids
   -usually when people are too young to know themselves well enough to know their partner
                                        too young to ask the questions that will plague them in 10 years
-is he right for me?
-might there have been someone more suited to me?
-am I happy?
Questions that become meaningless   or destructive
between breakfast dishes and bag-lunches
between pig-tails and little league
where moms sit in the stands in a daze
wondering exactly how all their days
added up to this

I have a friend who likes men
which may seem strange to some
because my friend is a man
but to me it seems good, it seems right
because I saw the Hell he had to wade through
to admit (even to himself) what love looked like
inside him
He broke through barriers I couldn't have cracked,
toppled them to get to himself
and now he shines like a star
healthier, happier, more whole than I'd known he could be
His deepest desire (like all of our deepest desires)
is to find the right one
that partner, the companion that's right for him
I know this will happen, he'll find his one
because my friend is filled -all the way- with love
and on that day, I'll dance. 

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I haven't vanished...

Hi everyone!  I got a message from PettyWitter wondering where the heck I've been so I thought I'd better stop by my blog.  I must say, too,  that it made me feel good that I was missed.  Thank you so much PettyWitter!  I've been coming and reading, just haven't posted.

This is always such a difficult time of year, this year is no exception.  I'm always in trouble with money- that's not changed.  But I find I have even more issues due, mostly, to my own procrastination.

I have thought of several post ideas that probably would have been wonderful if I'd brought them to the computer with me.  I might even get back to them in the near future.  Just right now, I think I feel a bit of a mess.  I've had a hard time focusing.  I know I'm not alone in this, it's a messy time of year.  I'm going to have a day-dream now and set it all straight:

-I have more than enough money- enough for bills, gas, and food, enough to treat my daughter to a great Christmas, and enough to save a bit and donate a bit.

-I work in a job I love.  Not only in a place I love, but doing work that feels worth-while, like I am making a difference in people's lives.

(ok, so far this daydream has a theme)

-I take time to take care of my body.  My great job offers me health insurance so I go to a doctor regularly for checkups. I go to dentists and eye doctors, too.  More importantly and more exciting, I exercise regularly, I do Yoga at least 3 times a week, I take long walks and I have fun doing weights and cardio.

-I write every day  (ok, i almost always do)  but now I have more time for it somehow.  I have started one book and have ideas for others.

-I cook. (i'm learning)

-I spend time every day with my daughter, doing something fun.  We never rush.

-My house is almost always clean.  The clutter is manageable and we keep up with all the day-to-day.

-I spend more time practicing and working with my spiritual path.  Meditation has become a part of my daily life.  I am working through those books I keep reading.

-I meet my partner.  This may not be just yet-even in my daydream.  I want to be so sure all these other things are in place, being so picky about myself but also being honest with myself and the fact that if I don't have these things in place, it will be too easy to forget my life and pay attention only to him.

-Witches' powers become real and I can bring true and lasting peace to the world.

(ok, i may have gone a bit overboard on that last one but a witch can dream, right?)

So, this is my daydream for today.  What's yours?

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

November 2, 2010

Entry for One Shot Wednesday

I voted today
in the linoleum yellow underbelly of
Emmanuel Lutheran
the place that plays Kumbaya to me
on great big bells while I sit by the river

was it only strange to me
to be voting in a church?
maybe more so to people
who still like our church and state separate

I stood in line for my ballot
taking in the colorful Alleluia banners
the children had made
I wondered what they celebrated,
what they praised and gave thanks for as they made them

driving to the polls I was behind a semi on the freeway
on the back a sign with an American flag told me about
our country not giving aid or comfort to "the enemy"
Shock settled in        anger stirred
as if all the people - the citizens - of Afghanistan and Iraq
are our enemies          personally
they're as helpless to their governments
as we are to ours
in the dust next to the sign
someone had written the name Jesus
He would be hurt, I think, to see this
maybe even ashamed       or that's just how I felt
I don't think Jesus believed in enemies
I don't either

but waiting for that line we've all felt so divided
I've never felt us so polarized before
it scares me
I feel obligated to vote only D
because the things the R's say -
they really scare me
but I wish I could vote G or I
without feeling it a loss

behind collapsible plastic privacy
a black felt marker with
No. 2 oval holes
I break out my cheat-sheet
(yep, I wrote it down. just to be sure)
fill in all the right spaces and
a machine - secretly - sucks it away from me
I got a sticker (my favorite part)
I don't know if I've changed anything
or how much of a difference one can make this way
I'm not sure I trust the whole thing
much more than McDonald's Monopoly
but, I suppose, Alleluia
that I have a right to try.