It Returns

I think I may have found my Christmas Spirit! I've mentioned how much trouble I have when I'm focused on one thing. It's like I can't see around it. I've been focused on the hows and wheres of moving. And since money is short this year I haven't done much shopping and that usually gets me excited about the Christmas morning unveiling. I've finally gained some clarity about packing and I can see it getting done so that left me a little room in my brain for Christmas- and I'm a little excited. It's always a bustle and sometimes a drain. I always seem to expect myself to do too much. Like I think I can bake a loaf of cinnamon bread for everyone I know. When it takes about 4 hours to make 2 loaves. This year my preoccupation has stopped me from over-burdening myself. I'm going to make bread for my family and a few close friends. I'm looking forward to celebrating Yule twice (!). Once with my daughter and a close friend of ours and again with my little group. I get to go to my daughter's school and talk about Solstice to her class. And once I've lived through Christmas, I still have moving to look forward to! Ok, I don't look forward to moving because I hate it. I think we all can agree that it's one of the most stressful and physically exhausting tasks on the planet. I do, however, look forward to being in a new place. I love setting up a new home. And I'll be moving to a new area so I will have a whole new city to explore! I love learning places. It's such an adventure! I have a pretty good sense of direction so I always dig finding new ways to get from point A to point B. Learning a whole new city will be a great challenge. There will be new businesses, new restaurants, new people. And I'm so glad to be leaving the apartment I'm in. It has so many issues I don't even want to get into it. Just thinking about it gets my fruit dirty. So I'll stop. I have great things on the horizon. I love the fact that even when money is tight- or feels like it is- I can still see that I have such great abundance and so many things to be thankful for. I am truly blessed and I feel as though I just keep being given more and more. I hope that in this season of family and friends, of giving and charity, of love and light, that we all can take stock and be thankful for the wonderful things we have in our lives all year round.

Where is it?

I find it almost impossible to believe that Christmas is in 10 days. I have always been the girl with the irrepressible Christmas spirit. It hasn't arrived yet. No shopping. No bread-baking even. I'm just not that into it. Ug! Maybe it's because I'm focused on moving soon? Maybe I'll be more connected to Yule this year with it's quiet, gentle affair whose purpose certainly rivals Christmas' hooplah. I feel a little left-out but honestly, I haven't seen many examples of the Christmas spirit outside generosity shown to me in my own life. There is no abundant joy in passers-by. Everyone is elbowing and grumbling like always. I see the lights but they're not sparking that same kind of awe and revelry that I usually associate with this time of year. In a way, I'm leaning on my daughter's excitement. You can always count on a kid to find the joy and remember why we're supposed to be excited. She's so sweet. We have our little Christmas at home, then go to her Grandma's (dad's mom) and then to my mom's house. She tells me how much she loves our little Christmas mornings at home, watching the parade and eating cinnamon bread. "Even if there aren't any presents", she tells me. What a gem! So I'm switching the radio to the Christmas station and forcing myself to start baking for her. Sometimes when we do the things we associate with a particular feeling, we can bring that feeling on. I hope that works for me now because if I remember correctly, I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!