Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Where is it?

I find it almost impossible to believe that Christmas is in 10 days. I have always been the girl with the irrepressible Christmas spirit. It hasn't arrived yet. No shopping. No bread-baking even. I'm just not that into it. Ug! Maybe it's because I'm focused on moving soon? Maybe I'll be more connected to Yule this year with it's quiet, gentle affair whose purpose certainly rivals Christmas' hooplah. I feel a little left-out but honestly, I haven't seen many examples of the Christmas spirit outside generosity shown to me in my own life. There is no abundant joy in passers-by. Everyone is elbowing and grumbling like always. I see the lights but they're not sparking that same kind of awe and revelry that I usually associate with this time of year. In a way, I'm leaning on my daughter's excitement. You can always count on a kid to find the joy and remember why we're supposed to be excited. She's so sweet. We have our little Christmas at home, then go to her Grandma's (dad's mom) and then to my mom's house. She tells me how much she loves our little Christmas mornings at home, watching the parade and eating cinnamon bread. "Even if there aren't any presents", she tells me. What a gem! So I'm switching the radio to the Christmas station and forcing myself to start baking for her. Sometimes when we do the things we associate with a particular feeling, we can bring that feeling on. I hope that works for me now because if I remember correctly, I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!


  1. I have felt the same way this year! I don't think that we are imagining it! Both my husband and I could feel angry energy in one Christmas card that we received. I don't think that it was toward us, but anger at life or circumstances. Something's going on "out there." Since a young age, I would experience the "holiday blues", but I have found that two things can help. First, get thee to the kitchen. I never feel alone in the kitchen. Generations of women surround me and support me. Then, Christmas is my major celebratory holiday, but acknowledging the Solstice is often the companion to bringing out the true, gentle Christmas spirit. I need the connection to the natural and spiritual world, too. So, you are not alone! Blessings for the holidays!

  2. I'm so glad I'm not alone! It's interesting how we see our 'troubles' reflected in the world at large. That alone should make us feel less alone. I agree about the kitchen! I'm baking bread all day tomorrow and I can't wait! I'm going to remember the generations of women while I'm doing it because I think I forget that they're the reason I feel so connected when cooking. Blessed days to all!!