Friday, April 30, 2010

Yet another poem

 Well it's the last day of April, National Poetry Month, so I thought I'd post one more poem.  Then I'm going to get back to the "Why I'm a Witch" series because I've been working on that too.

Excuse me but have you seen
       laying around anywhere
I'm looking for yesterday
and I can't seem to find it
but I just had it so    it can't be far

I thought of looking for last summer
but realized I didn't even know where to start
I glanced around for last week but

Yesterday I had one of those moments where
for a time, everything  feels  perfect
and I wondered, since I just had it
shouldn't it still be here somewhere?

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

A delving poem

of all the voices of me, all the trains: inner-critic, inner-child, inner-wild-woman, inner-any-human-ness...
of all the moods, personalities that arise,
is there one that is most me,
most true to my authentic being?
or is it only in the fleeting moments when
for a breath
something outside of these
bears witness to them
there is the collective sigh
i am none of these

Sunday, April 25, 2010

A brand-new poem

I usually work with a poem, or at least read it over and over for quite a while before I share it outside of my close friends. I wrote this last night and I really enjoyed it, I hope you do too!

All my poetry
is Goddess poetry
everything I write is
cause that's how I move
there is no separate
for me from Her
walking hand in
wispy voice
that curls deep inside
with a purr and sigh of knowing
that all is well
that all is right with what is

there she is settled in my soul
like a tiny reflection
Objects may be closer than they appear
of the beginning of time
swirling with all I've ever known
all that's been known
and swollen with the unknowable
pulsing with the tide of
so much
of every star
of so many distant
and unfamiliar
yet brothers
sisters to what i see

but being so much
still soft   She is
curled, lying there
like an infant
after a millennial nap
blinking in comfort
ready to stretch
and try her voice

Monday, April 19, 2010

Women on the Edge of Evolution

     This Saturday, at 11 a.m. PT, (2 p.m. EST), Alanis Morissette will be featured on the ongoing web-based seminar Women on the Edge of Evolution.

When this webinar started last year, they planned on doing 14 sessions. There have been more than 30 now and they're amazing! I have learned so much and also heard so many women echo the things I've been thinking and learning and wondering about. I feel so connected to woman-kind through these 'calls'. There have been interviews with some truly legendary women.  I encourage all women to sign up for this free tele-seminar/webinar. You can download the talks after they take place or call in and listen on the phone. Go to to register. It's a truly enlightening and exciting tool.

I have been a fan of Alanis Morissette since her international career began. She will be talking about getting comfortable with holding power.  What an important lesson for women today! When we're poised to make so many positive changes, creating compassion and unraveling the patriarchy so that we can find health and sustainability, what better time to learn about being comfortable with our own power?  In my own life, this is one of the things that stops me. I know, way down deep, that there is great power within. I know that when I tap into that power, I'll be able to do more to help.  So what makes it scary? Lucia Rene did an interview on the Women on the Edge of Evolution and I listened to it over the weekend. She talked about unplugging the patriarchy and how as women, we're raised to believe that we're not powerful (or not supposed to be powerful). There are so many huge gaps in the way women and men are treated and brought up in our society.  It's been a source of great confusion for me for most of my life. The more I have tried to define myself, the more I see that I have to  move away from a consensus reality expectation of how a person "should" be. And then, to be truly free, I start to move away from definition at all. That's a toughie. When I've been trying most of my life to have some way to say, "This is me.", and really mean it, I find that words fail essence. We could all write a book, trying to explain what we think we're all about. And every day we could write a new forward and explanation for the lines we'll have to edit.

Friday, April 16, 2010

One more poem

nothing ever touches anything else
not really 
but right now
our electrons are
to repel one another
because you've invaded
                  you have entered
                              you've been invited into
the space that my body occupies

i sigh
i smile
physics     shrugs

Another Poem

Well kids, we're half way through National Poetry Month so I thought I'd post another poem.  I don't think it has a title yet.
Why am I so damn raw
exposed nerves crackle
like the backs of my eyeballs
floating on the surface 
of the thought I just had
or the song I'm listening to
why does everything want
out       right   now
without even identifying itself
as it squeezes through my lids
why do I  feel as if I'm
holding      my heart      hostage
and what am I waiting for
what are my demands
do I have any plans
if I get away with this
hostage          situation
I'm no good at negotiation
I'll just wait down at the station 
till the whole thing is resolved
leave it up to someone else
to see my problem solved
but the problem is there's still that part
my pumping, bleeding, aching heart
it seems wrong to just leave her there
saunter off without a care
but how much am I willing to give
without the promise that I will live
and how much is really at stake
if the battle's more than I can take
which pieces will I walk away with if I loose
is it a crap shoot, or can I pick    and choose
are there things in my heart I can't do without
creativity, empathy, my smile, my pout
looks like I have to suck it up
and work this thing out
but I don't believe in war so    is there another way
 we could coax my heart and humor her, 
convince her to come away
from the me who would harm her
we should probably disarm her
she's the one who started all this
standing there raging with balled-up fists
I just need to convince her to step back into me
put down the heart, and just let it be

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Witches and Responsibility

A third post about why I'm a witch.

I think there is a very misunderstood view of how witches function in the general public. Again with the Hollywood thing. Some people really believe we can levitate things and clean our homes with a wave of our wands. We wish! There also seems to be an assumption that witches can 'curse' people or make someone fall in love. While it's true that study and practice may lead to the ability to do these things, in the process of that study and practice, we learn again and again why we're better off not trying things like that.
   I mentioned before that Wiccans and Witches are different. Not very different. Wiccans have more dogma and a more religion-based practice, in my view. There are a lot of divisions or types of Wicca. Dianic, Fairie, Celtic, even Christian Wicca. There are so many more. In these traditions, there are certain ways of doing things. There may be rituals that use the same words and movements every time. The participants hold similar beliefs. There are covens or circles and often a hierarchy. As a witch, I don't participate with these groups but I do identify with them to some extent. My spiritual beliefs are best represented by these religious paths.
The only real difference is that I take from all positive traditions (Wiccan and others) and I am not limited in what I do. It's perfectly acceptable for a solitary witch to do a ritual that is Native American or Buddist or Hindu or any combination of any faith.
The one thing we all seem to agree on is the Wiccan Rede. Those eight little words,: "An it harm none, do what ye will.".  This is deceptively simple. It tells us that as long as our actions do no harm, we should feel free to do what we want. Someone could say, well, it would make that guy happy to fall in love with this girl so that should be fine, right? Wrong! The major thing we keep in mind at all times is free will. It's simply manipulative to use magic as a way to try to start a relationship. If it works at all, the outcome will be disastrous.  Some people even recommend asking permission before doing a healing ceremony for someone. At first I didn't understand this. Of course we all want to be healthy, right.  But we can't forget that sometimes people are ill and it's a part of their karmic path. Maybe there is a reason for the thing we feel we should change. It' very humbling because it makes you realize how little we know about why things happen and what life is really for.
Another important aspect of Harm None is that it includes ourselves, so outside of our magical practice, it's important for us to take self-care very seriously. Witches aren't only witches when we are in a circle, we're witches 24/7. The same goes for every Wiccan, Witch, or Pagan I've ever met. It's similar to Native American practice in that way. There isn't division between our spiritual lives and our everyday lives. Instead, our spirituality imbues every thing we do. Integrity and will power are very important, as is a benevolence towards everything that is. We see everything as sacred. The natural world was not only made by God and Goddess, they are present in us and in every rock, blade of grass, animal, bug, person, flower, cloud...  Everything deserves our respect and kindness. This is why so many Pagans are very eco-conscious. Not only do we care about our world and its future, it is absolutely sacred to us. So Harm None takes on a whole new and broader meaning when we have this world view. Littering is causing harm. Unkind words or looks cause harm. Judging others causes harm. Being selfish causes harm. After time we realize that it's impossible to walk this Earth and not cause any harm at all so we work to do the best we can. Because constantly kicking ourselves when we misstep -you guessed it- causes harm.
It's a very gentle world view, I think. When I feel at my witchy best, I absolutely exude love. I feel compassion for the whole world at once and also for every being on it. This is what the craft is teaching me. And considering that most magic done for others is either manipulative or (if they ask you for it) something the person should probably do for themselves, the best use of magic (for me) is self-healing and blessing. Everything I do, I do "for the good of all at this time" and I ask God and Goddess to see that my actions or the energy I direct is only used in good and helpful ways.  Because we're humans, we make mistakes. I like to know that whatever work I do, it's been "okayed" in a way by Deity. Maybe I play it safe but safe feels good. Even though I've been a witch for almost 10 years, I still feel like a student, like I'm totally new at this. That's a refreshing feeling and another thing that fosters humility. I think that's one of the best things we can invest in at this time. Humility and compassion for others could help make some big changes in this world gone astray.

Friday, April 2, 2010

And another thing

Why have politicians allowed the world to become this way? We are over-governed in some ways. They seem to want to get into the smallest parts of our lives. But then there are tons of companies out there bilking us for billions. How has this come to be?
     Look at the "health-care crisis" in America today. The truth is that there is no problem with our health care. We have great health care. The real problem is insurance and that is, lightly put, a racket. Between the exorbitant prices hospitals pay (without question or protest) for the smallest of items (and then pass those bills on to us) and the 300% - 1000%+ mark-ups the pharmaceutical companies get away with, not to mention the ridiculous price of health insurance in this country as compared with others, I have to ask again: How did it get like this?
  In a country where we don't really trust any politicians, CEOs or bankers, how did they get away with corrupting our systems so thoroughly?  Why are companies allowed to make things and sell them when they are made to break down? Remember when people were able to fix their own cars? Not only is that impossible in modern cars, they are also not built to last. Nothing is because someone realized that if people have to keep replacing the crappy things they manufacture, we will keep buying them. So our landfills get full and our wallets get empty. Where is the government to step in on our behalf and say, "Stop making this crap! Create sturdy products or stop making anything!". Well, in one way or another, they're benefiting from this mess. It's really scary to think about the government being 'in cahoots' with such industries as health insurance, big oil, pharmaceutical companies, and big tobacco. If they're all holding hands, who is looking out for the rest of us? Well, it's us. And who will listen to us?  Again, I think it's just us.   
   So, being basically politically ignorant, I'm at a loss when I try to envision a way out of this. The more I learn about the political system, the more I think that they just keep making it harder and harder to affect any sort of change. And when we do manage to change something, it's always at a loss. Every bill I read about and want to vote on is written in such double-talk and there is always something there to appease the other side or the other point of view, so we really only get a little slice of what we want and sometimes need.
    America is a beautiful and diverse country. It's unfortunate that so much of the world's power resides here. The world looks to us (reluctantly sometimes) to see what direction everything else is going to go. As such, we have a responsibility to show the world what can be done. We need to man and woman up and start to make change. All this bickering between parties and between people is getting us nowhere. There have to be some established goals that we all can agree on. We have to learn to communicate with less emotion so that we can really hear one another. I need to learn a lot more so I can start to piece this thing together because as a novice, I am at an utter loss.
    Maybe we all need deep spiritual practice. Even Atheists. Anyone can meditate. Maybe that would help us. If we had a quiet space inside, maybe we could hear each other there. If we each move through our days with a well of calm inside, the tumult of the world will be less able to rock us. I know that rushing through our days leaves us feeling totally spent and not very reflective. We've got jobs and kids and mortgages and rent and other bills to pay. There are parties and weddings to attend. There are e-mails to return and blogs to write. There are papers and books to read. There are deadlines and meetings and all sorts of things to pull us out of our center. It is a big job to    be   here   now.  That's asking a lot of the human mind- to slow down so we can breath and become aware of our bodies and surroundings.
     Is there a correlation in here somewhere or am I going in circles again? Ok, maybe I am going in circles but I do believe that if I remain centered (and that needs to be learned) I will be more able to respond with love and calm. I will learn to respond rather than react. This is a start.

P.S.  Reading Aine Butler's blog The Evolving Spirit helps me every week to slow down for a few moments. One of the many resources out there that helps me move towards peace. Thanks Aine!!

What can I do?

Wow! A comment I left on Aine's blog really has me shaken, the more I think about it. I asked her for ideas on how to affect change in a loving way. That's so sad! Where are we as a society that we can't envision change coming from a positive, loving action? Is it just me? I truly believe that love is the most powerful force there is. I believe God IS love. So what does it mean when I say that if I can't back it up by believing in the power of love? I see it so clearly in small ways. Or maybe I should say in my smaller environment. When I am radiating love - and I know when I am, everything feels right - the whole world looks brighter. Other people really do appreciate a smile. If you pay attention, sometimes you can even see the ripple effect of your kindness.
     Then there is that big environment, the 'world'. How can social truths translate to the political stage? I have to preface any political discussion with the guilty admission that I have avoided learning about politics for most of my life because it all overwhelmed me. I get frustrated and angry at the way things are. Not only how they are, but how hard it is to change anything. Everything is wrapped in laws and processes. It's all gotten so big, so out of hand.
     I believe that the cause of most suffering and war on this planet is the un-balanced distribution of resources. If every country had enough food and water and their basic needs met, there would not be a climate that lends itself to terrorism. These are things people resort to when they're desperate. When they feel they have nothing to lose. When they feel nobody is hearing them. Then they are taught about America and all the abundance and 'decadence' we live in. Truth told, I'd be angry too. Simply because of where we were born, we have a lot or a little. It's easy to see people living in distant places as 'other' but that's simply not true.
     So what if we considered all of humanity our brothers and sisters? And what if politics no longer existed?  I know we supposedly need their structure to govern us all because we can't be trusted to just be decent human beings, but what if? What if instead of telling us all how it's going to be, the job of politicians was really to be a public servant? And what if we, the public, decided that what we want them to do is to re-think the distribution of resources. Not just 'over borders' because they're irrelevant. If we were willing to give just a little. If we realized that we don't really need that many pairs of shoes. That a six thousand square foot house may be a bit big for a three person family. That we can only drive one car at a time. That the gluttony we've cultivated in this culture is going to be the downfall of humanity if we keep feeding it.
    These are big words but it's true. The major real problems we have today (not the "problems" the media would have us focus on) have to do with sustainability. Well, our way of life is simply not sustainable. Maybe that's my cause. In an article by Linda Sechrist in Natural Awakenings magazine (, Andrew Harvey talks about Sacred Activism. He says we should "understand that the deepest service rises out of our deepest compassion, which is born out of our deepest heartache.".  It has always been my deepest heartache to see people going without. People are starving, thirsting to death, dying without simple medicines, living without homes or clothing, unaware of education and health care. People. These are people, just like you and me! So, I think it's time for me to pick up a copy of Mr Harvey's book, "The Hope: A Guide to Sacred Activism" and figure out what I can do to help. In the article he talks about having a deep spiritual practice because that is where the ideas for change that will work come from and the spiritual practice also supports us through the slings and arrows of activism. I need to do something! Aside from blogging about it :).
     I want to prove that LOVE CAN be a force for change! I want to learn how to live in a way that doesn't consume unnecessary amounts of anything. I am not a saint. I have to be reasonable about what I can do, but knowing that, I have to remember what great feats others have preformed and not limit myself. I hear all the trepidation in these lines. Who else is out there, ready to help make change?