Priorities

Priorities are things we are always re-evaluating. I have been living in an apartment that I don't like for a long time and it just recently became a priority to get out of it. I'm moving to a place that I really love and into a town that will offer me and my daughter many opportunities for learning and fun. The house we're moving into is tiny but beautiful. The problem is I just learned that the schools there are not great. The school my daughter is currently attending is rated A by the state, the ones where we are moving are rated C. It's a difficult thing to think about. My sister thinks I should not move but she doesn't understand that I'm not in the decision-making stage any more. I'm moving. So I have to rely on the facts that my daughter is a very bright kid and I work with her a lot. She gets a lot of instruction outside of school, I just may have to step that up a bit. I'm going to talk to the schools and see if they have any advanced programs that might be more appropriate for her. She's in the 4th grade now. I think if I do my best with her here and plan to get her into a better school or district before high-school (preferably before middle-school) she will be fine. I'm getting guilt from my sister but I have to let that go. I know with all my heart that this is the right place for our family. We will grow and heal here. We will learn and discover, cook and paint, sing and dance, and really enjoy life. School is not the end-all and be-all of what shapes our lives. I know that in a better school, children have more opportunities. I also know that my daughter's life has a richness that many are lacking. I'm teaching her about living life fully, being compassionate and caring, the importance of caring for herself, the importance of creativity and spirituality. I realize I'm writing this for the express purpose of not letting someone else's fears drag me down and make me question myself. It's the time in my life to be sure of what I'm doing. It's funny to think how many decisions have been made by not deciding. A witch's word is her will. My friends and I have been working with that one a lot and it helps. If I'm going to be a productive and powerful person, that can only be built on a foundation of integrity. That means that I'm sure about what I do and why. If I say something will be done, it will. I keep the whole picture in view as much as possible to consider how my actions affect others. This is going to be a good move for us. There are always sacrifices but I truly believe that all in all this will be a very positive experience and a wonderful place to live. Rather than second guessing or dwelling in anxiety, I'm choosing to dwell in gratitude. I'm grateful to my wonderful friend who helped me find this place. I'm grateful to the wonderful landlord who takes such great care of the property. I'm grateful to Goddess and God who I know were helping me to find the right place. I'm grateful to myself for making the right decision and sticking to it!

Moving

I HATE MOVING! It's about the most pain-in-the-ass task a person can embark upon. I'm finding myself totally overwhelmed by the job. I think it's the first time in a very long time that I wish I had an other. It hit me over the weekend that I have to do this on my own. I will have friends to help me carry stuff but I have to make the decisions about when to move what and what should go where and how and on and on... Whew! It's rough stuff! I knowI can do it. And I know that in about three weeks this will all be over and I'll be sitting in my new home relaxing. (Well, technically I'll be at work anxious to go to my new home and relax.) It's just the mean time. I can't see how I'll do all this. As I start to get some stuff out of the place it will seem more managable. I'm glad I have the luxury of being able to move over a week and a half instead of trying to fit it all in one or two days. I just long for the day when I can sit in my home and all of my stuff is out of the apartment and has been given away or stored. I can't wait for that sigh...

I'm Moving!

I found a home! And I stress the word HOME! I've lived in an apartment for 5 years that is unhealthy for many reasons and owned by a big corporation who basically refuses to fix anything. With the help of a friend, I found a tiny house to rent. It will be a big sacrifice as far as space is concerned but what we will gain is immeasurable! It has a HUGE yard that goes right down to a river. It's in a part of town that is very walkable and fun. The minute I walked in it was as if the house hugged me. We will be in a house! With no people on our walls or ceiling! We can plant things! I'm so excited! I've been pack-ratting in a two bedroom apartment for years. Now we're moving into The Little House (I named it) and suddenly I'm finding it so simple to give things away. I really believe it's my life path issue at this time to learn how to live with only what is necessary. I feel life will be more simple. I'll be more organized and together. It's such a peaceful place! I'm going to foster that peacefulness and make it the everyday state of life. I feel so strongly that all the things I've struggled with will become easier. I will take time to meditate and slow down in that way. All the things that I've been working at in fits and starts will have room. I think that's the big thing, I won't be so stressed out by having so many things around me. I'll be in an environment that will foster healing. My plan is to really work on healing me- re-learning how to meditate, praying and playing, getting fit and eating healthy. I know we can't move into a new home and expect to suddenly be different people but these are things I've been working at for years and I can't seem to make them stick. I am so sensitive to my environment and the apartment we've been living in tells me to take a nap, give up and roll over. The house will tell me, "It's ok, you can do it! This is the life you've been working toward!". And she will be right!

A Poem

I haven't written in a while and I miss it. I've been stupidly busy and have a lot going on but nothing I really want to write about. I decided to share a poem I wrote last fall. *

Curves and Lines

     My body is the Goddess's

     not a single curve out of place

     cause I can see my form in nature

     all the beautiful, round shapes to trace

But cities are made by men

you can see it in their design

cold and hard, constructed

all straight lines and street signs

     We do our best to invade them

     with bushes, trees and vines

     but they always feel constricted

     to a pretty little box in time

Meanwhile outside the cities borders

the ongoing ugly rat-race

is mowing down curves and forests

marching on leaving nary a trace

     Still, no matter how many lines they draw

     with their rulers to tell them how big

     when it's time to lay the foundation

     look where they have to dig

Into the sacred skin of our Mother

on the altar of our birth

source of all the life we know

the ever-spinning, round, round Earth

*

Hope you all like it!