Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Non-Professional Writer

I found myself in a conversation about writer's block recently and I've been thinking about it since.  I realized that the reason I don't often struggle with writer's block is that I don't have any deadlines.  I did struggle with finishing a particular poem before the reading last week.  I was adamant about reading that one and so, felt pressure to finish it.  When I did, the anxiety about the reading almost completely dissolved.  All was right with the world and I felt brave. 
I'm not sure you can have writer's block when you don't have a deadline, but I do notice that I'll suddenly realize one day that I haven't written anything for a few weeks and it makes me nervous.  It can be disorienting, like an integral part of me is silent and I'm not sure why.  "Muse", I wonder, "you haven't deserted me for good, have you?".  Maybe she was just taking a break.  Then she'll stop by and won't stop chattering in my ear for days.  I love those days, when I'm so busy I can't even remember what all I've written. 
I've learned a lot about my process lately.  I write when there is something there and I don't try to force it when nothing comes.  This is the luxury of being a non-professional writer.  So on the days when my hands are sore from writing, when my cat is ready to attack my lap-top, when I've forgotten there are such things as dishes, I am in my element.  I feel so alive and so free, caught-up in the flow of life.  I'm happier when I write.  That is not to say I write about happy things, only that I feel better when I'm trying to express things that are going on inside. 
So on those prolific days, I think to myself, "I should just be a writer.  Someone should pay me to stay home all day and write things.  I don't even care if it's creative.  I would be willing to write anything!".  But what about that block?  Would I be haunted by an absence of words?  Would it be possible for me to spend even a moment not-liking writing?  I suppose I don't have to worry about that right now.  But just in case I find that perfect writing-related job, I'm going to push myself just a bit.  I'm going to set some goals and see if I can't help keep my creative fire at least in embers at all times, so that a great fire of insight could be stoked at any moment.  If I'm open to that, the Muse may just stay with me.

4 comments:

  1. The muse is there within. When the words are ready to flow it will appear without effort. I am eager to read it when your heart is ready to let it go.

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  2. Thanks! I love your new picture! I'm making a separate blog to put some of my poetry up. Some of it is- well, it's adult. When I finish copying the poems I read last week, it will be up and running. I'll probably post other poetry there too but I couldn't see posting some of that stuff on this blog. It just wouldn't fit.

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  3. I'm very surprised to think of you ever being blocked. You're so free and open with your ideas and thoughts. And you have many, too!

    I try to write something every day, even if it's small. My problem is with finishing stuff too, but in a different way. As soon as I have an idea, I jump to it instead of what I'm working on.

    I think you should be a writer. You have so many ideas and you express them very well. I bet you could write a book of poetry or a book on philosophy.

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  4. It's weird. Sometimes the thoughts circle and circle my brain before any land long enough to be put down. Sometimes I think I'm just distracted by life or a little depressed and stop writing. Then I'm unhappy and I start writing again so that I feel better.
    I'm going to write a book about why I'm a witch. I've been working on it but the going is slow because, well, life is busy. My hope is to start devoting time to it regularly.

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